By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. Proverbs 24:3–4
Dearest Daughters,
As we continue our journey through housekeeping, solutions, and graces, I think there is a perspective that must change in each of us, and if it does, it greatly simplifies both family life and housekeeping.
To put it simply, running a household is not a linear thing. It’s a spatial and relational thing.
In other words, you can’t simply make a list numbered “one, two, three” and expect to accomplish everything in that order. If you look at your day that way, your list will stretch a mile long, and if you believe you must finish one thing before beginning the next, your work will never end.
A household simply doesn’t function like that, any more than a human body could function by lining up all its parts in a row. Everything works together.
I can’t tell you how many spelling tests or dictation lessons I’ve given while kneading a loaf of bread or chopping carrots. I don’t have to finish one before I begin the other.
In reality, far more than a spelling test and chopping vegetables are taking place. A relationship is growing between a mother and her child. The child may be subconsciously learning to cook. Methods of cleaning are being observed as I wipe down the counter. A toddler may be playing quietly at my feet, learning patience while I teach an older sibling. Meanwhile, a loaf of bread is already baking in the oven, and a pot of water is coming to a boil for noodles on the stove.
When we learn to see how many good things can happen simultaneously, life becomes simpler—much, much simpler.
So before I give you a few practical suggestions, stop for just a moment and ask yourself:
How many good things could be happening simultaneously in this very moment?
If you only have five minutes and company is coming, as has often happened to me, don’t panic. Dad’s office is only five minutes away, and more than once he has met someone, invited them to dinner or to stop in, on the spot, and then called to let me know they were on their way.
First, remember what I shared in my last letter. Try to keep your living room reasonably tidy. But even if it isn’t, don’t despair. Clear the floor. Wipe off the table. Fluff the couch cushions. Open the curtains. Slip into the bathroom and quickly wipe down the sink and toilet.
Your guests usually won’t notice perfection. They will notice peace or the absence of it. If your own heart is at peace and your home feels welcoming, that’s the impression they will leave with.
Another habit that has transformed my housekeeping is this: Never leave a room empty-handed.
I have intentionally trained myself to do this. Every time I enter a room, I glance around before I leave. If I walk into my bedroom, I straighten the pillows or smooth the throw. If laundry is waiting to be put away, I carry it with me. If I step into the bathroom and notice a toothbrush lying on the counter, I put it back. A pair of shoes, a cup, a book—these little things accumulate over time. But if you are constantly putting them away, they never become overwhelming. Instead, your house grows more orderly as the day goes on.
Simple habits truly can change your life.
Another little trick that has helped me tremendously is keeping the cleaning supplies I use most where I actually need them.
There were so many times I noticed the bathroom counter needed wiping, but because the cleaner or cloth wasn’t nearby, I simply moved on. So I started keeping Windex, a roll of paper towels, and a microfiber cloth under each bathroom sink. Now, whenever I notice the counter needs attention, I wipe it down immediately. It takes less than a minute, and the job is finished before it has time to become another item on my mental list.
Having the right tools in the right place often makes the difference between a job being done and a job waiting until tomorrow.
But above all, remember this: Your goal is peace, not perfection.
I remember a story an older sister shared at a ladies’ gathering when I was newly married. She told us about a marriage workshop she and her husband had attended early in their relationship. One of the questions asked of the husbands was something like this:
“Which would you rather come home to: clean floors, sparkling windows and dinner on the table, or your wife singing?”
She smiled as she told us that she had assumed her husband would choose the meal waiting on the table.
Instead, he chose his wife singing.
That story got my attention. Like her, I would have assumed that all the other things should come first. But over the years I discovered that it wasn’t really about singing. It was about joy.
When I intentionally prepared to welcome my husband home with a cheerful heart, I actually found that I also tended to accomplish the work more effectively throughout the day. But when I focused only on getting everything finished before he arrived, I often became hurried, anxious, and frustrated. Joy really did make the work lighter and faster! So focus first on your attitude! And, I would add, the attitudes of your children.
You may find that not only is your home more peaceful, but somehow your work becomes easier and more quickly accomplished as well.
With all my love,
Mom