“Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey—either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?” — Romans 6:16
Dearest Daughters,
The a counterfeit to godly submission often disguises itself as obedience. This substitute for true submission is called capitulation.
In military terms, capitulation is a sort of concession that takes place in a battle when the weaker side reluctantly admits that a particular skirmish has been lost. The enemy was stronger or smarter in that particular moment, and so the fight is conceded. But in the mind of the capitulator, the war itself is definitely not over. Capitulation, in a marriage, is when there is not a true surrender of the heart, but only a reluctant nod to the immediate outcome. And this means that the one capitulating is still holding on to her own lordship. This type of resistance to true surrender will ultimately lead to guerrilla warfare.
True surrender is different. In surrender, a nation lays down its arms and confesses that it has been conquered by another kingdom. They no longer fight under their own banner, but come under the government and authority of a new king or government. They lose their national identity into the new country. This is what real submission should be—not just losing arguments or conceding battles, but acknowledging that Jesus Christ is Lord over your whole life, and that His kingdom is now your new country.
To merely capitulate in the relationships belonging to God’s design, is to give way to an insidious form of rebellion. It may look harmless enough, but is in fact, hiding self-rule.
Picture a nation that signs a peace treaty but then secretly hides weapons in barns and cellars, ready to rise up again when the moment is right. On the outside, they look like they’ve submitted, but in reality, they are only waiting for their chance to rebel and resist again.
Or imagine a child or wife who avoids doing the one thing their parent or husband asks by filling the day with ten other “good” tasks. Outwardly she looks busy and devoted, but inside she has resisted the only obedience that mattered at that moment. That kind of capitulation may be disguised as diligence or sacrifice. And this type of “guerrilla warfare” nibbles away at God’s purpose and every relationship He would build. All the “good works” are only works of the flesh if they are not the deeds given by God. They are the same works that Saul did, when he disobeyed God’s instruction but offered a sacrifice of his own choosing. And the prophet told him that obedience is better than sacrifice.
Jesus spoke about this kind of heart: “Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying: ‘These people draw near to Me with their mouth, and honor Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me’” (Matt. 15:7-8). He doesn’t not want merely outward compliance from His people. But He longs for hearts surrendered to Him because of love, with all weapons of defensiveness and manipulation laid down.
Jesus showed us with His own life, what surrender looked like. He did not merely concede a skirmish. He laid aside His glory, stepped into our weakness and mortality, and surrendered Himself fully to the Father’s will, even to the point of dying on a cross. His submission was not begrudging; it was the ultimate expression of love.
Each of us will be given daily opportunities to choose whether to merely conceding a moment or to truly surrender to the King of kings. Capitulation clings to self and self’s desires, while wearing only a mask of obedience, but true submission bows the heart, and lays down every weapon, saying, “Not my will, but Yours be done.”
May God help us all to surrender to His lordship and kingdom.
With all my love,
Mom