“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” —Galatians 5:1 (NIV)
Dearest Daughters,
Dearest Daughters,
When we make excuses for ourselves, we padlock the gate to any true repentance that leads to victory.
In the Bible, Aaron created a golden calf for the Israelites when they became impatient while waiting for Moses to come down from the mountain where he was speaking with God. But when Aaron saw how indignant Moses became upon seeing the idolatry, he was afraid, and instead of owning his part in the sin that had just desecrated Israel, he frantically grasped for absurd excuses: “You know the people—that they are set on evil.” And then, ridiculously, he claimed the golden calf had simply “come out” of the fire!
Perhaps we squirm a little when looking at the biblical Aaron in this light, because it’s so familiar to all of us. That same instinct to defend ourselves, excuse ourselves or blame shift, lurks inside of each of us when the truth pierces our hearts.
Blame shifting and excuse making are two of the most common ways that our sinful nature tries to preserve itself when God’s light of truth begins to shine. Whenever His light reaches into the corners of our hearts, we face a question that will set our trajectory:
Will I take full responsibility for my choices, for my sin, for the outcomes of my actions, in order to be free, or will I defend myself with excuses?
There will always be reasons and rationalizations ready at hand. We all have them, but even a trace of an excuse blocks the door to repentance. And when our repentance comes up short, so will our transformation. Then we forever remain trapped in the same habits, circling the same mountains and wondering: Why can’t I move forward?
Our current culture actually encourages this kind of bondage. “Don’t be too hard on yourself,” it says. “You’re only human.” “It’s not your fault—you were wounded.” “You’re just reacting.” Compassion does have its place, but it’s very easy to use self-pity masked as compassion to cushion ourselves from falling on the bedrock of truth, and that rock is the only place real freedom is found.
Because we live in an age that prizes comfort and indulgence, excuses often slip in unnoticed, wearing disguises like: You’ve worked so hard. You deserve a break.
So what does this excuse-making look like in daily life? Where does it pop up? I know that its temptation is hiding around every corner and slinking behind each attitude.
Perhaps we haven’t spent adequate time tending to the needs in our children, and so we excuse ourselves first in our own minds: Well, I’ve been so busy, and my husband has a demanding job, which also makes requirements of me, so I haven’t gotten to that.
Our schooling is falling behind, and we excuse it because of the garden. Our garden is weedy, and we excuse it because of the schooling. Our spouse comes home and questions us about the lateness of dinner, and we blame it on the children’s needs in school. A grandmother offers insight about a demanding toddler, and we excuse the toddler by saying they’ve been sick or missed a nap.
The sad thing is that all these excuses keep us forever chained to our own bad habits, causing us to go round and round the same mountain, wondering why we can’t seem to move forward. But the truth is that every excuse we make is just a link in that chain that binds us.
When we decide to face the whole truth about ourselves, without dilution or justification, the power of God rushes in. God’s grace will never come through our walls of self-protection. Grace is in the light of truth, when we stand exposed before Him.
Israel had lived as slaves for generations. Slaves do not take responsibility for the course of their actions; they simply obey commands. God wanted His people not just freed from Egypt, but freed from the slave mindset, that bondage of excuses. As Paul wrote, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Gal. 5:1). And that liberty, as Jesus said, comes only when “you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).
He wanted sons and daughters who could walk in responsibility and freedom, not slaves walking in fear and self-defensiveness.
As soon as the excuse pops out of our mouth, the chain tightens, binding us to habits and sin we long to escape from. But when we acknowledge our faults without defense or evasion, grace rushes in like a stream from the mountains.
Aaron tried to convince himself, Moses, and even God that he wasn’t really to blame. But freedom is only found through narrow gate of repentance.
So, whenever the urge to excuse or justify arises, ask yourself:
What am I trying to protect—my pride, or my freedom?
Because you can’t keep both.
Let us be women who speak the truth until it sets us free.
With all my love,
Mom