Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; May Your good Spirit lead me on level ground. —Psalm 143:10
Dearest Daughters,
I often think of our calling to motherhood, and being a wife, as being something akin to the role of a dancer.
For one, motherhood quite literally keeps you on your toes, and there’s a spiritual choreography to this ministry we’ve been given.
A few months ago, I was singing the old Shaker hymn:
’Tis a gift to be simple, ’tis a gift to be free,
’Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
’Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained,
To bow and to bend we shan’t be ashamed;
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come ’round right.
The line, to bow and to bend we shan’t be ashamed, stood out to me. I could picture a dancer: fluid, strong, bowing and bending with grace and intentionality. And I thought to myself, This is what it looks like, metaphorically, to be a woman in submission. This is what it means to live under a mission.
But before I explain, let me give you a few facts about dancers.
A dancer’s flexibility is extraordinary. Her limbs move with an unbelievably extended range, with high leg lifts, deep back bends and open hip rotations. An average person may be able to lift their straight leg to 70 or 90 degrees, but a trained dancer can often reach 120 to 150 degrees! She can get 30 to 40 degrees more mobility in back extension than us common people! But because this doesn’t come naturally, she must practice again and again. The ability is built by daily stretching and targeting not only passive flexibility (how far a joint can go), but active flexibility—how well the body holds and controls those movements while maintaining poise.
Over time, the dancer’s muscles and fascia actually lengthen, and her nervous system adapts to these entirely new capabilities! Movements that once were impossible become second nature to a dancer. An occasional effort won’t cut it! Dancers literally invest hours every day training their bodies to move in obedience to music and choreography.
Yet no dancer would say of their trainer, “He’s demeaning me,” or “He makes my life a drudgery.” They would believe that their potential had increased and their capacities expanded because of the pressure from their training.
So how does that apply to us as wives and mommies? It means that we, too, must be willing to stretch and to bend in the service of a calling beyond ourselves. Ultimately, that “something” is the mission of God. And, for those of us who are married, it includes the mission of our husbands, who themselves should also be submitted to the song and mission of Christ.
In the beautiful design of family and church, everyone is under a mission. Submission shouldn’t be viewed as inferiority but as the choreography of God’s kingdom. So come into alignment with His song!
We are naturally stiff and aren’t born spiritually limber. Our hearts may be rigid in self-interest, and our ambitions resist the bending. Our habits are slow to yield, but if we want to move in step with God’s dance, if we want to be graceful in His design, we can’t just stretch when we feel like it. We must stretch daily and with intention!
We stretch ourselves to love more than we ever dreamed we could.
We stretch our wills to yield when it feels stiff and painful.
We stretch our hearts to serve when we feel dried up.
We bend our ambitions, our comforts and our time, again and again.
Like dancers, we must train until the connective tissue of the soul lengthens. The muscles of humility, patience, and compassion must be worked daily.
Then, when the music of life swells and shifts, we will not break; we will move.
To bow and to bend we shan’t be ashamed;
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come ’round right.
And in that movement, we will reflect the beauty of our Maker.
With love always,
Mom